Reflections on Learning

When I look at my assessment of my life and my plans for change I think it just seems impossible to ever reach the point I want to get to. I have been trying to overcome my depression and anxiety for many years, and it seems that this will never change. Although we have learned that anyone can use what we have learned in this class to improve their life, I am very skeptical that I can do this for myself. This is difficult to explain, and until I can move this barrier, I will not be able to expand my horizons. Getting started is the first thing. I am doing some things for myself now that I wasn't before, like improving my diet and making sure I get to yoga class. The easiest thing for me to do would be to sit down one day and just start. The goals seem impossible to reach, and a real change in attitude is needed. The exercises in Dacher's book on preparing for change are probably even too advanced for me, I just need to decide I am going to change some things and that it will work.
I scored myself pretty high on biological health, but lower in all other aspects, especially psychospiritual. It has become easier over the years to make these issues unimportant in my life, like I can control them and keep them under wraps. The big change needed is to understand that these issues are just as important to my own well being as my physical health. By using my yoga practice, involving myself in volunteer activities and putting myself in situations that force me to interact with others will help me to get to the place I want to be. I must stick with my plan and be sure to review every month.
I feel like I am a little closer to my goals, but I have not yet implemented home meditation practice as I have planned. It seems much easier to make excuses and not move forward, so the most important way I can begin to get to my goals is to decide that it is time to start and not stop.
The most important thing I have learned in this class is that there is another way. In order to really help people we have to open our minds to all of the options that exist, and pay attention to what the patient is trying to tell us. This is something that many practitioners do not do today, and I think this is one of the reasons why we cannot help them as well as we could. I have also learned that there is a lot more research on healing methods going on out there than I ever knew before. We spend so much time focusing on what we were taught in school, we forget that each person is an individual and responds individually to our treatments. What has been difficult for me is to admit that I cannot truly help those if I do not help myself first. Although I have saved the lives of many over the last 30 years, it seems I have not truly healed them, but only prolonged their suffering. I prolong my own suffering by resisting my own plan for change. Now I have the tools I need to help myself and others, the future looks much brighter.