Personal Practice

I have reviewed the practices we have encountered in this class, and I have to say that they have indeed been challenging. But, never let it be said I don't want to be challenged or changed in any way. Because of my depression and anxiety issues, it is really easy for me to give up and not pursue challenge and to accept myself the way I am. I will not be doing this. I have spent the last 20 years seeking active change and making improvements, and although I have seen improvements, there is always room for more. With that said, I think that some of the practices we have encountered in this class can be of significant help to me, and could be the catalyst I am looking for with consistent practice. The easiest one for me, and currently the most helpful I have experienced to date, would be the mindfulness (subtle mind) meditation. This is something I have been practicing on and off over the last few years and although it has not gotten that much easier for me, it is do-able because I really do not have to invent anything in my mind, I only have to observe thoughts and emotions and pull my mind back to a chosen focus when needed. This is something I can continue to do before, during and after work (my most stress) but only need to practice more regularly. I think it can have a significant impact on helping me think and speak with more intention. The second one is very difficult to choose, because they were all so difficult for me. I guess I would have to choose the loving kindness visualization we began with on the CD, for two reasons. First, it was the easiest for me to do out of all the visualization exercises. And second, but most importantly, I need to feel more loving kindness toward not only myself but others as well. I find myself being mad at and hating people in general (and myself) all the time because of the stupid things we do and say, and the way we abuse each other and the earth. It is a very overwhelming hatred, and I know that in order for me to be the kind of person I want to be, this must be changed. It will help me form that basis that I need in order to develop my inner mind and truly feel spiritually connected to life and the universe. Transforming myself into an example for the people I contact daily is a wonderful goal and may help them to change their ways as well. Dacher tells us that the only way we can advance to the point of true integral health is to plant the initial seed of universal loving kindness in our hearts and minds. This is the most important first step in my own transformation.
-"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." Gandhi